neighbors warn of potential reverse burglars

Rochester, NY — The neighborhood association is once again warning residents of our community to be wary of reverse burglars.  “It’s always around this time of year we hear stories of some guy in a red suit breaking into homes at night and leaving stuff behind,” stated a spokesperson for the association.  “We caution our residents to be on the alert, lock their doors, set their alarms and nestle their children all snug in their beds.” 

These reverse burglaries are identified by an increase in stuff at each residence after the perpetrator has left the scene.  “It’s odd when you think about it,” continued the spokesperson.  “Most times if someone breaks into your house, they want to take stuff.  The only things we’ve ever found missing were a few cookies, some milk and a carrot or two which we had accidently left on a plate on the kitchen table.”

Police advise residents not to try to handle the situation on their own.  “If you happen to hear a clatter on the lawn and feel the urge to spring out of bed and fly to the window like a flash, I would first advise you to call us,” said chief of police Biggem.  “We have dealt with this situation for many years and it never ceases to amaze me how many people try to just spy on the burglar.  I mean if you need to spy, the only thing you might see is mommy kissing San- um, the burglar.”

Of course, if you don’t wish to disturb the police, here is a checklist for residents to protect themselves.  1.  Make sure everyone is in bed and asleep.  2.  If you hear the sound of 32 little hooves on the roof, just ignore it, it’s probably just squirrels in the attic and you can take care of that during the daylight. 3.   Any rustling in your chimney area or other optional entrance to the house is probably coincidental, but you are advised to place a few cookies, carrots and milk on the table just in case you need to create a diversion should escape be necessary.  4.  Just relax and let the person do his work.  What’s the worse that can happen, you end up with happy kids and a new HDTV?

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